Tonight is Mahasivarathri. And while Valentine’s Day is not part of our culture, Mahashivratri definitely is. I urge you to go out and celebrate it with devotion and piety.
The best way to celebrate is with sex, drugs, and rock and roll. By having sex, you will be following in the divine example set by Mahadeva Himself.
The earth with its serpent and tortoise trembled, oppressed by the weight of the excessive amorous play of the two powerful deities, the god with his sakti. Because of the burden of the tortoise, the very air which supports everything was compressed solid, and the three worlds were agitated with fear. Then all the gods went with Brahma to take refuge in Hari, and, dejected at heart, they reported everything that had happened: ‘God of gods, husband of Lakshmi, lord, saviour of everyone, protect us; we have come to you for refuge, for our minds are disturbed by fear. The breath of the triple world is compressed solid, and we do not know the cause; the triple world, moving and still, with all the sages and gods, is agitated.’
…
‘The great lord Siva, the lord of all, has gone into the dwelling place of Parvathi, the daughter of the mountain, after staioning us here; he is an expert in the various forms of love-play.’
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When the great god, expert in the knowledge of yoga, heard this, he lost his desire but still he did not cease his erotic play, for he was afraid of Parvathi.
(The Shiv Purana)
This just goes to show the benefits of Savism – incredibly good sex that makes not just the earth, but also heaven and hell move. Vaisnavites will of course try to respond by bringing up Krishna and the 1000 gopikas – but did Krishna ever make the triple worlds tremble? Choose quality over quantity, people!
Drugs would also be appropriate tonight:
This is the point where the stories converge. The pair in M___, asked for “Bam bam boley ka samaan” (Bam Bam Boley’s stuff). Pardon them, they were both Tam-Brahms. While the group in M___, asked for “Shivji ka prasaad”. Both the parties, found what they were looking for.
And of course, there’s rock and roll. Shiv’s attendants, the ganas, are the original death metal band, or even Hell’s Angels:
Descriptions of the Ganas vary from the wholly abstract – representing the fundamental categories of existence, to somewhat negative descriptions of them being deformed, grotesque, dwarfs or night-walking spirits of gross and lustful appetite. It is said they had acquired the capacity to change shapes whenever they liked, could move about invisibly and fly. They flung Shiva’s enemies into ravines and dashing them to the ground in their rage. Moreover, they were fond of music and dancing, and occasionally enticed women into their embrace.
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From Indian Witchcraft by R.N Saletore comes a description of the ganas:
“…a princess Rupinika was advised how to look like a Gana. She had to shave her head with a razor in such a manner that five locks were to be left, then she was to wear a necklace around her neck of skulls and stripping off her clothes, paint one side of her body with lamp-black and the other with red lead so that in this way she could resemble a Gana and find it easy to gain admission into heaven.”
Honestly, how different is that from this?
I urge all of you to celebrate Mahasivarathri by bringing sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll into your lives. Please remember that it is part of our glorious culture. And if we don’t have our culture, what do we have?
Awesome. This is actually one of the best responses I have seen for the Moral Police.
Are you advising me to go out and have earth shaking sex?
Indian culture was never against sex or erotic play. It only prohibits indiscriminate promiscuous sexuality, that is held high on a pedestal by western commies and liberals, as a mark of individual freedom.
Religion, setting aside its irrationality, is a force of civilization. It is a doctrine that mandates us to leash the animal inside every human being.
You are clouded by liberal ideology, that foolishly, just like mullah’s and swami’s, reeks of irrationalism and emotional outburst.
Aishwarya, I am indeed advising this. Not only earth, but also the abodes of the gods and demons.
Bhanu, you have a point. Unfortunately the animal within me is a LOLcat and does not take kindly to being leashed.
Your post only proves Kanchan Gupta’s point.
aishwarya is in ireland. and despite our great history and modern science and finance, we are yet to invent a way in which one – scratch that, two – can have remote earthshaking sex.
would you still recommend her to celebrate mahashivarathri thus?
Skimpy, you’re wrong. There are many great inventions that solve this problem. This is one. My school junior worked on another for his B Tech Project at NTU.
Aadisht does that mean i’m homo? or does that mean i’m valuation?