If you’ve been reading the older Fillets, you’ll know that my house was supposed to be reconstructed.
What you don’t know is that the reconstruction never really got off the ground. We bought a bunch of marble, looked at bathroom fittings, and then postponed it indefinitely.
So here’s the problem. The marble is sitting around unused at the back of the house. I suspect it’s destroying the vastu and the feng shui. Even if it isn’t, it’s destroying what little aesthetic appeal the house had to being with.
However, I am convinced that the vastu has been severely depleted, and this is the reason that half the electronic appliances in my house blew up during the summer vacations. The TV blew up. The microwave, which has always been temperamental, also blew up. My PalmV, which wasn’t even plugged into the mains, also went on the fritz. Recently the telephone in my room rang it’s last.
It hasn’t just affected electronic items. My grandmother recently suffered a lung infection. Three weeks after that, my mother’s back gave out. My father’s feet are worse than ever. To live in my house, it seems, is to be entrapped in a morass of misery.
Yet, one person in my hosue is not merely unaffected, but seems to be going from strength to strength. My brother, Bhavya.
He’s been placing in the top three in every inter-school quiz he’s been to since school started in April. Uptil now, he’s won vast amounts of cash, a fourteen-inch flat TV, and other items of interest too numerous to mention. At this rate, I’ll be counting on him to support me through my post-graduate years, if I have any.
To top it off, last year he went for a Science Olympiad sponsored by HONDA ASIMO, and won an all expenses paid educational trip to Bangkok.
Yes, Bangkok is very education, especially for someone with a fourteen incher. Ahem. I’ll stop with the dirty puns now, but in my defence, it was my Bhavya who first said that.
And the reason Bhavya is so unaffected by the bad vastu is simple. The Preity Zinta poster I bought last semester is now in his room. She beams down at him benevolently while he sleeps, and wards off all the evil that poor vastu inflicts on the rest of the house. And not only does she ward off evil, but she brings him good luck too. Which makes me wonder why exactly my room decoration currently consists of Daredevil posters, but we’ll deal with that later.
In addition to the Preity Zinta poster, that room also contains numerous Laughing Buddha figurines. And just outside it, are a few Ganesh statuettes and miniatures.
There’s something common to all of these, and this it. Preity Zinta, the Laughing Buddha and Ganesh all have dimples.
I don’t know exactly what it is about dimples that makes them wellsprings of joy and good fortune. Possibly they form little reservoirs for luck particles. The bad luck is heavy and sinks to the bottom, and the good luck rises to the top, evaporates, and diffuses. it’s a theory. Don’t knock it. If you’re going to believe in vastu, you might as well believe in dimples.
So, if you’ll exucse me, I’ll get my resume printed out, have lunch, buy a broom and a lock, and another Preity Zinta poster.